Dominos is now marketing pizzas with numerous crusts made out of fried chicken. Well done, America. You just crossed the event horizon of fast food silliness.

Starting yesterday, Dominos rolled these products out under the name "Specialty Chicken" (which doesn't even sound remotely ominous). They come in four flavors: Crispy Bacon & Tomato, Classic Hot Buffalo, Spicy Jalapeno-Pineapple, and Sweet BBQ Bacon. The whole thing essentially boils down to what would happen if someone followed through on the 3 AM genius (not genius) stoner idea of "like...what would happen if we took a pizza...and replaced the bread with MEAT?!" That's the entire product, by the way — you pay a pizza price for a pile of chicken with random crap thrown on top of it.

...that being said, I would eat the living shit out of the Sweet BBQ Bacon. I mean, look at that beautiful monstrosity. What am I, made of stone?