U.S. Army Major Tony Wingfield wanted some fried chicken, but was unaware that it came with a delicious beverage of carbonated scunge juice.

Wingfield was just looking to get lunch at a Popeye's Chicken near Joint Base Lewis-McChord in Tillicum, Washington.* He alleges that after he had placed his order in the drive-thru but before he had paid, he asked if he could add jalapenos to his order. The woman working the drive-thru was apparently annoyed since Wingfield had already ordered, and wouldn't give him the peppers/let him buy them. Which, OK, huge dick move on her part, but after Wingfield brought his food back and took a few sips from his drink, he claims he started wretching. When he removed the lid, he found two anti-microbial wet wipes just hanging out in his soda like it was a sanitation appliance dunking booth. Wingfield is now seeking an apology and for the employee to be fired.

Here's the thing that gets me: if Wingfield is telling the truth and this was done to spite him, that is the single dumbest act of retaliation of which I've ever heard. I mean, in what universe is someone not going to get caught for that? I would say I can't believe anyone could be that stupid were it not for the Behind Closed Ovens submissions I get every week. For what it's worth, the restaurant says they have no evidence of Wingfield going through the drive-thru, but that he does have a receipt, so who knows what actually happened?

It's also worth noting that this isn't the first time a sanitary towel has apparently wound up in someone's meal. Assuming this is true, this is the worst thing to happen to fast food since Kentucky Fried Panda.

* Plus side: you guys have Popeye's in the Pacific Northwest now! No longer do you have to pretend KFC is anything other than hot garbage! Yay!