We owe everyone an apology for allowing this to happen.
For the next month, Buffalo Wild Wings is apparently going to be selling chicken wings coated in a sauce made from Fireball Whisky, because humanity is terrible and America is terrible* and there are so many apologies owed for this that I’m not even sure where they should start. If you’re unfamiliar with Fireball, imagine a cinnamon monster taking a particularly odious dump in your mouth and you’re basically there.
Never for a second trust anyone who tells you that cinnamon + meat is a winning combination. That idea is the driving ethos behind Skyline Chili (and all Cincinnati-style chilis), a concoction inexplicably not banned by international treaty. If a hyper-intelligent race of aliens passing by the Milky Way ever catches wind of the existence of Cincinnati chili, they will vaporize us from orbit, and we will deserve it. I have no doubt that if they discover the existence of Fireball chicken wings, our punishment will somehow justifiably be worse.
Amazingly, this is still not the most awful food thing I’ll be posting about today. Stay tuned.
* You’re not off the hook for this either, Canada. Fireball Whisky is your fault (
that’s the whole reason “whiskey” is spelled wrong in the name as Deadspin’s Tim Burke points out, it’s actually called “whisky” because it’s cinnamon schnapps and there are no regulations on what can be called “whisky”).
Image via Ken Wolter/Shutterstock.
Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com.