Man Fined For Riding Horse to Taco Bell, Achieves Peak Texas

Of course there was a cowboy hat involved. Don’t ask dumb questions.

Rick Braun* of Allen, Texas, just wanted some Taco Bell chalupas, or quesadillas, or crunchwraps, or…look, does it matter what he wanted? They’re all the same damn thing anyway; the only difference is some of them taste of Dorito detritus. Anyway, Braun wanted some Taco Bell, and apparently decided the best way to attain said (admittedly delicious) pseudo-food was to ride his horse through the drive-thru. Just one problem: riding an animal on a public street is apparently illegal, and police issued Braun a $255 ticket.

The reason it’s illegal actually does make sense: a) it’s dangerous for Braun to ride a horse down the street at night because drivers might not be able to see them unless Braun is secretly a Hogwarts graduate and can cast lumos, and b) the horse was apparently shitting everywhere (as horses are wont to do). One Texan’s desire to feel like a gordita-seeking Wyatt Earp probably should take a backseat to everyone else not having to step in giant steaming piles of horse leavings and/or the possibility of death by car-horse collision.

* Jesus. “Rick Braun?” His name might as well be Brock Amarillo.

Image via CD_Photography/Shutterstock.