So what do you guys prefer like your baked goods be filled with? Jelly, bavarian cream, or pure, uncut Bolivian marching powder?

Mauricio Isidrio Rivera Hernandez arrived at Newark* Liberty International Airport in New Jersey from his home nation of Guatemala bearing cookies — which seems thoughtful of him, as who doesn't love cookies (Oatmeal Raisin Torture Discs notwithstanding) The cookies were filled with a tasty surprise: chocolate chips! So many chocolate chips. Also, nose candy.

Apparently, police found a total of 118 pellets filled with powder diamonds totaling about three pounds of cocaine, worth an estimated street value of $52,000. Hernandez is now facing state narcotics smuggling charges, because that's what happens when you try to smuggle several pounds of cocaine — yes, even in New Jersey, where it's hard to tell the difference between someone who's sober and someone who's been riding the white horse pony (our commenters are apparently far better acquainted with equine drug euphemisms than I am).

The real tragedy here: someone on the Jersey Shore isn't going to get their White Fourth of July. Let's all pour out a 40 of bronzer in sympathy.


*Newark, NJ, city motto: It Could Be Worse, You Could Be in Camden.

Image via Alexei Logvinovich/Shutterstock.