Never content to rest on their laurels, Taco Bell today announced the upcoming menu addition of something previously thought to reach beyond the bounds of human technology: a burrito wrapped in a quesadilla.
Literally, that's the whole thing: it's a burrito with rice, chipotle sauce, and sour cream (along with your choice of meat) wrapped in a cheese quesadilla. It's called the quesarito (much like Leonard da Quirm, Taco Bell's food genius does not extend to its naming practices), and it's going to land on June 9. It's only $1.99 for beef, $2.79 for chicken, and $2.99 for steak, so unlike literally everything else on their menu lately, it won't wind up costing MORE than Chipotle.* Taco Bell also apparently refers to itself as "a game-changer in feeding customers' revolutionary cravings," which is the most florid way I've ever heard of saying "it's that place people go when they're stoned as fuck and ready to suspend all semblance of forethought."
I have to say I admire Taco Bell's willingness to push itself. At a place like McDonald's, innovation consists of "let's make chicken wings" or "let's start charging 20 cents per sauce cup," whereas Taco Bell is not only charting a course through new frontiers with its creative use of waffles, it's seeing what happens when it smashes its menu items together. I believe them when they say that when they tested the quesarito in Oklahoma City earlier this year, it did better than any market-tested product since the Doritos Locos taco. I'm tempted to say that's just because people in Oklahoma are desperate for anything to distract themselves from having to confront the fact that they live in Oklahoma, but I'd be surprised if this thing doesn't go absolutely bananas.
*When the hell did this start happening, and can we please make it stop?