Illustration for article titled Because Youve Been Good, Here Are Some Pretzel Dicks

Hey, look at these pretzel dicks.

This is actually the latest creation from Chef de Insanitie Dominique Ansel, and it's a soft pretzel filled with homemade peanut butter and buttercrunch brittle, sprinkled with Maldon sea salt and served with a side of whipped honey brown butter. Look, I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't eat that — everything in that sentence sounds unbelievably freaking delicious. But a dick is a dick, and right now I'm looking at a dick.


Ansel is claiming that it's a "lobster tail," but come on. We can all see that it's a dick, right? Here was Ansel's e-mail response to when The Daily Beast asked him "...but it's a dick?":

"Wow—what do people think when they see a hot dog? By no means would we ever do anything vulgar or offensive."


You're adorable, Chef Ansel.

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Before I read it, I was like, "That looks like a lobster." Guess I'm just classy and not vulgar. You fucks.