Armed Men With Soiled Baby Arrested at New Mexico Jack in the Box

Illustration for article titled Armed Men With Soiled Baby Arrested at New Mexico Jack in the Box

Two men armed with an AR-15 rifle and a baby with a badly-soiled diaper were arrested at an Albuquerque, New Mexico Jack in the Box at 5 AM Saturday. As amazing as it sounds, this story gets more bizarre.

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It would be fair enough if the only reason the manager called the cops was the AR-15 rifle sitting across the lap of the driver, 28-year-old Mark Richard Cropper — while New Mexico is an open carry state with extremely lenient gun laws, I'm pretty sure even the police there would raise an issue with someone having a loaded gun sitting across their lap while driving a car. But that wasn't the only reason: his passenger, 27-year-old Colin Decker, had a baby sitting in his lap.

Obviously, the kid wasn't in a car seat. When police arrived, they found three more guns in the car. They also discovered that the child (Decker's 8-month-old son Cayden) was wearing only a t-shirt and a diaper they described as "extremely soiled." Apparently, Decker's response to the question "when was the last time your son was fed" was something along the lines of "I dunno." Apparently, both men were also extremely drunk and started shouting at the cops while being taken into custody. They're now being charged with child endangerment (fucking duh) and the less official crime of "what the hell is wrong with you" and held on $15,000 bond.*

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Funny thing is, neither of these dudes have criminal records — it's unclear just what series of events led to this even happening. Via Inquisitr:

Why they brought four guns to order food from a Jack-in-the-Box drive-thru at five o'clock in the morning remains a mystery, police said. One of the men refused to give police his address.

Is there anything about this story that ISN'T a mystery? I'm just going to sit back and marvel at this one.

*The article doesn't say there were drunk driving charges, although I can't imagine how there wouldn't be.

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DISCUSSION

Why are you acting like this is some big mystery? Cayden's Mom got called to work unexpectedly and forgot to tell Decker they were out of diapers. Decker had plans for target practice early the next morning, but no biggie. Baby gets the shits from Decker stupidly sharing his green chile stew. By this time, the other guys show up and they decide that by the time they get to the Walmart and back, Mama will be home, they can hand her the kid and the diapers and be on their way. They get the munchies on the way to Wal-Mart and stop at the Jack in the Box. Where the nosy ass manager calls the cop and turns a harmless night with the baby to shit.