Applebee's Customer Allegedly Attacks Fellow Diner Because They Weren't Speaking English

Illustration for article titled Applebee's Customer Allegedly Attacks Fellow Diner Because They Weren't Speaking English

Minnesota: Land of 1000 Restaurant Altercations, apparently.

In a tale of the worst thing to happen at an Applebee’s since, well, any meal at an Applebee’s, a criminal complaint alleges Jodie Marie Burchard-Risch attacked another patron at the Coon Rapids, Minnesota, restaurant on October 30 because the victim wasn’t speaking English. According to Applebee’s employees and the police, Risch, who was there with her husband, became angry upon hearing another customer at a nearby booth conversing in an unspecified non-English language. The complaint states Risch then began yelling at the other patron, to the point where restaurant managers attempted to get her to leave.


This did not go well. Upon being asked to vacate the premises, Risch allegedly continued yelling, then threw her drink at the victim before grabbing a beer mug and smashing it across the victim’s face in a “round house punch” fashion. The victim sustained cuts to her nose, eyebrow, and lip.

Risch attempted to flee the scene, but was caught by responding officers. She’s since been charged with third-degree assault.

Image via Supannee Hickman/Shutterstock.

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“There I was, enjoying a light repast at the Applebuddies club, engaging in a fine and stimulating discussion of Amanda McKittrick Ros’s brilliant use of simile and metaphor, when suddenly what should assault my ears but some jenny foreigner defiling the rarefied air of our great nation with her native tongue! Well I was having none of that, so I elucidated my distain for her verbal utterances quite sharpish! Of course the dozy outlander failed to see the wisdom of my position on the matter, and dash it if the blasted staff didn’t come into the fray on her side! After that I felt I had no alternative but to defend our mother language by stitching the befuddled immigrant a good one with my beer stein! Of course the constables were rapidly dispatched and here I sit, disgraceful what?”

The perp speaking to her cell mate in jail, probably....