Welcome to Boozinette. This is The Modern Age.
Traditional fast-food sales are in decline in America, maybe because we’re finally smartening up and becoming more reluctant to treat our tongues, wallets, and digestive systems as mortal enemies. We’re still fat, ridiculous bastards, of course, but chain-restaurant sales data indicates that we’re starting to become a…
And they’re probably full of shit. I mean, shocker, right?
Well, that’s one way to handle a shitty drunk college kid customer.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. This week, we’ve got stories that did not turn out as expected, thanks to surprisingly great customers. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.
It’s as bad as you’re probably thinking.
If you’re not already following the Nihilist Arby’s Twitter feed, that’s a problem you should go correct right the hell now.
There is nothing more unsettling than being in a strange city—or a strip mall, or a bus terminal—and getting a big whiff of the distinctly disgusting smell of a Subway sandwich shop. It is a gross and bad and terrible place. I would be thrilled if the company went under tomorrow. I hate it. I hate it so much! Its…
There are so many screwed-up details to this story that they wouldn’t all fit into one headline; I couldn’t even get “also, she’s pregnant” in there.
Here’s an idea: maybe let’s not make it as difficult as possible to feed those in need? Just a thought.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. After two weeks of terrible customer stories, turnabout is fair play, and we’ve got stories of restaurant employees who just did not have their shit together. As always, these are real e-mails…
Sorry, Oregon, but you’re not being as creative as you think—National Bohemian has already been packaging sewage water as beer for decades.
Earlier this week, the Massachusetts Supreme Court effectively legalized a particular variety of tip theft by restaurant owners. As should be obvious, this a very, very bad thing.
On April 20, Ben & Jerry's will release a new product in their scoop shops: the Brrr-ito,* which is exactly what it sounds like (waffle cone tortilla, fudge drizzle, cookie crumbs, along with two scoops of ice cream). Just one problem: it isn't very good.
Of course there was a cowboy hat involved. Don't ask dumb questions.
A new study indicates that low wages are such a burden that fully half the fast food industry's workers must rely on public assistance programs just to get by. It's a pretty reasonable assertion at this point that the system is not working as intended.
Today a fine establishment called Sprinkles is celebrating its 10-year-anniversary mark, a tremendous achievement for any small business, so congrats to them. The one major problem with Sprinkles is that their decade of existence has come solely from selling goddamn cupcakes.