If you're anything like me, every time you finish a burger, your immediate thought is, "man, you know what'd be great for dessert? A giant plastic dick. That'd be awesome!" Well, you're in luck, fellow hypothetical meat-loving sexhound: a Danish burger place is about to add sex toys to the menu.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. Today we bring you stories of the server's secret weapon: cropdusting. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.
Remember Crazy Amy and Samy Bouzaglo from that one absolutely bonkers episode of Gordon Ramsay's Kitchen Nightmares? They're back in the news! This time, there's video of Samy nearly stabbing a customer.
A Pennsylvania state report released this past week claims that heroin is now easier to obtain in the state than wine, and cheaper than beer, especially in rural PA.
Stuck in Tampa, Florida through no fault of your own and looking to kill time? How about eating a meal at Hulk Hogan's beach restaurant? Do be warned — the dress code is a tad bit completely batshit crazy. Oh, and it's also just a teeeeeeeeny bit racist. There's also that.
Have you guys ever had really good Chinese food? No, I mean, like, really good — so good you'd sell all your worldly possessions for another taste of that sweet, sweet General? My fix, man! I NEED MY FIX.
Marilyn Hagerty, North Dakota newspaper restaurant critic behind the most viral Olive Garden review of all time, is back with a review of her local Applebee's. And thank goodness.
Who's up for some lady fingers? Well, not fingers, as such.
It had to happen sooner or later: someone has finally stood up and very publicly said "no, fuck YOU" to the anti-MSG, all-organic-all-the-time, do-you-have-gluten-free-everything crowd.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. Today we bring you stories of customers who were wrong in thinking they were too important for karma to punch them in the balls. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.
Or at least, what food they can't stop talking about on Twitter, according to a team at the University of Arizona.
A customer at a KFC got really creative when it came to improvised weaponry.
Did you know the world's finest parmesan cheese actually comes from Belarus? It must be true! There's a hastily slapped-on "Made in Belarus" sticker! Well, it's not "true" true, in the sense that it's a complete fucking lie. But it's true enough for Russian officials, apparently.
Ill-founded or just plain lying negative reviews on Yelp are usually a reason for restaurant owners to lose sleep, as are Yelp's extortionist business practices. The owners of one restaurant near San Francisco, CA, however, have come up with the best and snarkiest possible solution to the problem.
Did anyone else wonder what it would look like if a restaurant did something in perfect inverse douche proportion to the awesomeness of the Baltimore restaurants who publicly flipped off Ray Rice? Well, now we know!
The only thing we at Kitchenette love more than eating fast food is making fun of it. With that aim in mind, Jezebel Night Editor Rebecca Rose once again joins us to discuss the deep philosophical import of fast food breakfast items.
Every server who's seen the abuse heaped on themselves and their co-workers has wanted to see a horrible customer get their just comeuppance through a public shaming. Today, our prayers have been answered, because someone did just that.
Well, internet, you did it: Coca-Cola is actually bringing back 90's citrus soda Surge.
Apparently, a potential hazard of ordering your groceries online is that, in lieu of walnut bread, they might send you an octopus.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. Today we bring you stories of customers who keep using those words, and I do not think they mean what they think they mean. As always, these are real e-mails from real readers.