It's been kind of a staggering past two days for fast food news, so Kitchenette is bringing you a Weekend Fast Food Roundup. From Arby's jumping on the "artisan" craze to Dominos kids meals to a whole bunch of chains trying to go fancy, we've got the latest word from America's most ridiculous industry.
A new burger in Philadelphia may have set the standard for "things no reasonably sane human would want to eat" by topping a sandwich with a wonton filled with Pabst Blue Ribbon that explodes when you eat the sandwich. See? This is why hipsters ruin everything.
Apparently, your brain is secretly classist, because you think food is more delicious when it costs more.
Today on "Things I Desperately Wish Existed When I Was Waiting Tables," there's apparently been a group going around for a few months now which leaves staggeringly large tips just because they are amazing and wonderful.
It would appear that the GOP is starting their bi-annual "make horrifically monstrous statements in public during an election cycle" push early this year. Hah! As if they ever stopped, even during off years.
It's not often that something crosses my desk that can melt even my icy, fun-hating keyboard, but the restaurant review of Plum Restaurant in Oakland, California by four-year-old Elai Rubinsky (favorite food: "orange") has caused even my heart to grow two sizes this day.
Yesterday, Panda Express broke down a barrier no one knew existed or cared about when they became the first major fast food chain to announce a kale dish on their menu. I'm still trying to figure out how no one has asked them "why?"
Today, for the first time on Foods That Should Not Exist, we saddle up our Dothraki steeds and take a trip to Westerosi Flavortown. While imaginary foods are a new frontier for Kitchenette, we feel the egregious food crimes from every one of the Seven Kingdoms* are just too much to bear.
For years, Taco Bell has revealed that their meat consists of 88% beef and 12%...other stuff. Today, we finally have an answer as to the contents of the mystery beef-esque slurry.
Either Chef Dominique Ansel has an extremely specialized form of Obsessive-Compulsive Disorder where he has to create the stupidest and most absurd desserts possible for the rest of his existence, or he's the most epic troll ever.
Welcome back to Behind Closed Ovens, where we take a look at the best and strangest stories from inside the food industry. This week, we bring you a selection of stories about indefensibly evil customers — in two of these stories, the police actually had to be called. As always, these are real stories from real…
For a long time, the government has largely stayed out of the fray when dealing with the sociopathically irresponsible autism miracle cure and anti-vaccination movements. It would appear that the FDA has just decided to get a whole lot more involved in the fight against ignorance.
Bad news for anyone with a functioning soul: a new poll shows that fast food CEO's currently make over a thousand times as much as their average employee. Not their lowest-paid worker — their AVERAGE one.
Good news, everyone! Ronald McDonald is about to join Twitter, and Kitchenette has an exclusive first look at some of the tweets he'll be sending out.
Taco Bell is set to launch a fancy new fast-casual version of itself and holy crap I can't even finish typing this sentence without bursting into tears of joyous laughter.
There's a restaurant in Chicago selling a "wonut" — a blessed, glorious union of waffle and donut — and we can all just die happy now, because LOOK AT THAT FUCKING PICTURE. Humanity is never topping this.
One Tokyo eatery apparently feels really, really bad about people who come in and dine alone. Instead of doing the American thing and just giving them a free plate of cheesy fries, though, the restaurant has come up with an...interesting solution.
It takes a truly special human being to combine pretension and douchebro-ed-ness into something that, when you take a step back, starts to look like elaborate, brilliant performance art. Guy Fieri is that human, except that nothing he does is intended as satire.
Hot on the heels of a Chicago restaurant attempting to peddle a $100 Grilled Cheese sandwich, New York eatery Bagetelle is selling a $1000 ice cream sundae, complete with a side of jewelry. God, we're a terrible species.
Easter is upon us, and — wait, Easter is past us? Well, shit. I can't keep track of your holidays; it's not like Christianity's unrelenting omnipresence in American society makes it impossible not to know when anything of significance is happening with you guys. Meanwhile, people still ask me what the deal is with…