What does one do when you don't get the table you want at a restaurant? Ask to speak to a manager at most, right? Nah, how about instead you repeatedly call the host "retarded" and tell your server you're not tipping her because of said host? Sure, that sounds good.

At least, it did for one customer at a restaurant in a large West Coast city.* An employee we're going to call Miranda watched the ensuing chaos take place, and her recap of the events to Kitchenette is staggering.

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The table, a couple, came in during a slow time and was seated at a standard 2-top table. They then demanded they be sat in the lounge, which is a lowered section with cushioned chairs. Just one problem: ordinarily, the restaurant only seats parties of three or more at those tables. When the host informed her of this, the customer became irate and pointed out that there was a couple sitting in the lounge right then. The host replied that sometimes they make exceptions when people call ahead and ask, if there aren't any available reservations.

Now, people are going to lose their mind about this in the comments, so let's get this out of the way now: the host really should've just sat them in the lounge at that point just to avoid the inevitable shitfit that customers tend to throw. Granted, she's following a directive from management, but I'm going to guess she hasn't been doing the job for very long if she doesn't yet know when it's necessary to break to rules. At the very least, she should've gotten the manager to come sort it out; she doesn't get paid enough to deal with this crap.

This, however, is where her fault ends, because what happened next is one of the more batshit crazy and downright evil customer reactions I've ever seen to anything. Here's the full image of the receipt the customers left for their server (who is apparently both extremely nice and good at her job):

Yup. That happened. Their check was for $85, which dropped down to the amount you see above after using a Groupon. They also informed their server, before she had even dropped the check, that they weren't going to tip her because of the host. I mean...if anyone can think of a more pronounced dick move, please share, because that would be impressive as hell.

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Only after they paid and didn't tip (but before anyone saw the receipt) did they finally ask for a manager, who (understandably) told them she wished it had been brought to her attention sooner so she could have rectified the situation. It will shock no regular readers of this website to know that they then went into some bullshit mouthfart spiel about regularly eating at fine dining and oh my god stop talking before I put a cocktail fork through your temple.

To make matters worse, this same customer then posted the following Yelp review (which is, faintly unbelievably, still up):

There is absolutely no way to justify this behavior. That should go without saying, except you know someone's going to try.** This is the work of entitled, dickheaded children who've grown into adult bodies without ever becoming decent, functional members of society. I don't need to explain why it's catastrophically messed up — this fuckery stands on its own merits.

Some people just don't have the right to be considered human beings.

Edit: I am aware that until the point when Yelp decides to remove this damned review, many of you have figured out how to find it and the person involved. Stop doing this; the only potential result to your actions is harm to the customer's server, who didn't even have anything to do with this post and is entirely blameless. I am dismissing anyone who does this.

* All identifying info about both the restaurant and the customer has been scrubbed from these pictures. In the past, servers have gotten fired for things like this, and in Miranda's words, "I would love for them to be hanged for this [in the court of public opinion], but it's not worth the job."

** If you're thinking about it, do us all a favor and instead kindly remove yourself from the gene pool.