And they’re probably full of shit. I mean, shocker, right?

Earlier this week, an unnamed police officer using a police union Facebook account posted about a restaurant called Miller’s Ale House in Winter Park, Florida (just outside of Orlando). The post asserted that cooks at the restaurant were conspiring to spit in the food of any policeman who ordered from the restaurant, and, via Orlando’s Local News 6, read as follows:

“It has been brought to our attention that the cooks at the Miller’s Ale House at Lee Road and 1792 in Winter Park spit in the food that is ordered by law enforcement officers. Keep this in mind next time you eat out in uniform.”

Yeah, just one problem: there’s a compelling lack of something called “evidence.” Since I realize most modern-day police officers are unfamiliar with that term, it is best understood as “something, anything, that might indicate you aren’t completely lying when you make seemingly-baseless accusations.” In this case, their entire stockpile of evidence is “a citizen told us so.”

Advertisement

After looking into the matter internally, the restaurant ultimately responded to the charges, labeling them “absolutely untrue” and quite logically asserting that cooks have no idea whose order they’re preparing—they simply work off of the next ticket in line. Sure, it’s possible there’s some grand conspiracy whereby the person taking the order addends “cop” onto the tickets and the cook then spits in their food in order to get back at The Man, but ask yourself which is more likely: that scenario, or a group of police officers imagining slights and/or just plain making shit up in order to feel aggrieved and justify their own behavior (or simply for their own financial benefit)?

The police appear to now be backtracking, saying the unnamed tipster “may have been angry with police.” Notice how this conveniently gives them cover while evading any real responsibility for their own actions.

It’s also worth reiterating that I worked in restaurants for five years, and I never once saw or heard of anyone spitting in someone’s food, nor has anyone I’ve asked about the subject. Sure, it’s a common trope—including in these comments sections—but the reality is it happens rarely enough that most servers will never see or hear about it occurring. This isn’t for ethical reasons; most restaurant workers couldn’t give less of a shit about the moral ramifications of doing it to terrible customers. No, it’s simple self-interest: it’s way too easy to get fired for something like that and most servers are one bad week away from not being able to make rent. What tampering that does occur will almost always come with a little more creativity attached to it than simply spitting in someone’s food, as well as being a hell of a lot harder to catch, such as the last two stories found here.

Advertisement

Still, officers of the law, fabricating/exaggerating a threat against their person? WELL, I NEVER!

Image via Schmidt_Alex/Shutterstock.


Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com.