Look, sometimes you just have to rubble rubble, or at least the Australian equivalent.

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Via PerthNow, Australian police say a man in the middle-of-nowhere town of Derby in Western Australia broke into another man’s car in order to steal a Hungry Jack’s (Hungry Jack’s is what Burger King is called in Australia because Australia reasons) Whopper. In a part of the story for which there is no further elaboration, the Whopper-owner had apparently arranged for a friend to bring him multiple Whoppers from Darwin (over a thousand miles away) in the days prior to the theft. Australia: where a thousand-mile quest to bestow several day-old Whoppers seems perfectly normal, apparently.

The extremely committed Whopper owner actually managed to confront the Hamburglar in the act, whereupon the notorious criminal...stripped off his clothes and walked away. I really wish I had more details on that part of the story, but there do not appear to be any.

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Shortly thereafter, the birthday suit chuck bandit was apprehended by police and charged with stealing and disorderly conduct.

Image via ChameleonsEye/Shutterstock.


Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com, or you can find him on Twitter @EyePatchGuy. Starting November 30, you can also find him on Wonkette.