McDonald’s allegedly did a shitty thing? McDonald’s allegedly did a shitty thing!

Via the Chicago Tribune, the US Justice Department has ordered McDonald’s to pay $355,000 to current and former immigrant employees. While we await conservatives inevitably getting their AR15-print undies in a twist about “THEM DAMN ILLEGALS WHAT SHOULD JUST GO BACK TO GUACAMOLE,” though, it’s important to note that this actually applies only to legal US residents. According to the Department (which got on the case thanks to an anonymous tip), McDonald’s had a “longstanding practice” of making permanent legal residents show the company a new green card after their original expired. The ruling states that if a worker could not provide the new documentation, they were held out of work, and many were ultimately fired. Companies are not legally allowed to do any of that, because “IHRE PAPEIRE, BITTE” is not typically a way in which we’d like corporations to operate in our country. Doesn’t really fit in great with the stated American ethos (even if it’s closer to the one on which we actually do operate).

Employees who lost their jobs as a result of this policy are to receive $1600, and those who lost work time will be compensated at an assumed rate of $8.88/hour. McDonald’s has also agreed to train its employees on anti-discrimination policies, and undergo Justice Department monitoring for the next 20 months.

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The interminable bleating from McDonald’s about how the company could not possibly be held accountable for the numerous wage violations committed by the franchisees acting under their auspice makes it especially ironic that this ruling specifically targets the 10% of restaurants that are corporate locations. If the US Justice Department is to be believed, it would appear the rotten branch of McDonald’s franchises grows from a similarly-afflicted tree.

McDonald’s, for their part, had this to say to the Tribune:

“We deny any wrongdoing in this matter, but in order to avoid further expense, and to cooperate with the (Justice Department’s) Office of Special Counsel, we reached a settlement,” McDonald’s said in an email.

Translation: *hair flip* Whatehhhvar. It always cracks me up when a company adamantly denies any wrongdoing but then immediately pays the fines levied against them. Sure, guys. Great look for you, there.

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Image via Ken Wolter/Shutterstock.


Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com, or on Twitter @EyePatchGuy. If you’d like to see him say more mean things about potential corporate ad partners, you can find him on Wonkette starting on November 30.