Absolutely nothing in that headline is remotely embellished in any way.

Early Friday evening, a man wearing an American flag t-shirt emerged from a sewer grate in front of Manhattan's Bar Pitti, lobbed a smoke bomb into the restaurant's outdoor patio, then flew back underground like the WTF Fairy. There's actually a video of this happening, and believe me, it doesn't get less confusing when you see it.

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Actress Rose McGowan was also eating at the restaurant, which is great, because as we all know, a thing didn't happen unless a celebrity saw it firsthand. Her tweet from the scene of the crime against sanity:

No one was harmed, as a restaurant employee was able to grab the smoke bomb and throw it clear of the patio. Still, as far as I can see, this story means two things: 1) we did something to piss Rat King off, and 2) (considering the t-shirt) he's feeling especially patriotic lately.

Image via jurgenfr/Shutterstock.