Italy is Building a Food Amusement Park, Because of Course It IsS

If I were to tell you that there was, at this moment, being developed a place called the "Disneyland of Food," what would you do? Would you rejoice in the certainty that there is a God after all? Would you weep with sadness, knowing that there was no way such a magical wonderland could ever actually come to pass in an inherently cold and uncaring universe?

Well, worry no longer, friends, because apparently, this is actually a thing that is happening. An Italian corporation named Eataly, a name that my deceased great-grandmother would surely think was high comedy, is getting the ball rolling in an attempt to help kickstart economic activity. No word yet on whether any of the concession areas within the park will sell Chocolate Popes on a Stick, but we can but dream. What, nothing? Niccolo Machiaroni? Venetian Rinds? I've got like five pages of these, people.

The saddest of ironies about this? The location chosen for the theme park is in Bologna. I mean...come on, Italy. Really? That's like the US building a theme park to American scientific ingenuity and choosing to put it wherever they shot Deliverance.