There is a right and a wrong answer to this question.

Many people know how to say “Reese’s.” Many other people appear to have not a damn clue how to say it. Which are you?

If you disagree with my objectively correct and scientifically unbiased conclusion, I have a simple rebuttal for you: Reese’s Pieces. It rhymes. The entire point is that it rhymes. Why would that name exist if it wasn’t supposed to rhyme? What is wrong with you, you horrible monsters. Still, take heart! Even if you are tragically unskilled at candy nomenclature, take solace in the fact that it could be worse; you could be one of those horribly broken people who refer to all sodas, regardless of brand, as “coke.”*

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Meanwhile, the Jezebel staff was almost (almost) uniformly well-versed in peanut butter cup pronunciation protocol. Bobby had an interesting theory:

Erin makes a valid point:

Anna had an excellent suggestion, which I neglected to follow because I am terrible:

In fact, only one person actually got this wrong, and here she is on blast:

Millihellen’s janemarie also gets special points for giving the most batshit response:

So now we know that janemarie is a damn weirdo. To everyone else, I hope you’ve learned a valuable lesson this day: stop calling the candy “Ree-sees” before I lose my goddamn mind.

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* I am even willing to form an uneasy truce with the “pop” people over this, because at least that word is an actual category. Don’t even get me fucking started on the people who say “lemonade” or “cocola.”

Image via mikeledray/Shutterstock.


Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com.