Florida Man Arrested For Stealing Toilet Parts From Fast Food Places

Oh, Florida. You never disappoint, and the legend of Florida Man continues to grow.

In what has to be one of the most ill-conceived (if original) crime sprees in recent memory, Brian Rinda of St. Petersburg, Florida has been arrested for repeatedly breaking apart fast food toilets (and in one case, that of a public park) after they caught him on camera wandering in with the equipment necessary to break open the parts, and wandering out, toilet pieces in tow. He is now facing nine counts of theft. The reason he did it was apparently to acquire the flushing handles and pipes, which he then sold to the county recycling center for $36 to $40 per piece. You are not reading those numbers incorrectly.

Look, I’m not saying people should break the law, but if you’re going to commit a crime, go big or go home. Breaking toilets in places with security cameras so you can acquire $40 per pipe is just silly. Besides which, have you seen a fast food toilet? You couldn’t pay me to get close enough to break one of those apart.

Any other state, we’d think this was weird. With Florida, I immediately wondered if this guy was, at minimum, a city councilman. If you’re wondering why it took police so long to catch him, it’s probably because they’re already busy dealing with criminals like this one. #FreeCrystalMetheny