This is a really good day for batshit headlines.

A pair of nesting blackbirds are continually attacking patrons outside one Denver, Colorado Chick-Fil-A in an attempt to protect their young (and also, presumably, because fuck Chick-Fil-A). There’s video through that link, and it’s every bit as hilarious as you’d hope it would be. If you’ve ever wanted to watch a dive-bombing bird peck Chick-Fil-A customers right in the head (and come on, of course you have), this is the video for you.

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The restaurant’s response, meanwhile, has been to offer an umbrella-wielding escort to help customers get to and from the parking lot. That’s...that’s the whole thing, there’s no punchline to that statement.

I realize there’s not much to this story, and I don’t care, because we get to watch Chick-Fil-A customers get their shit wrecked by angry birds. I’m not sure what more you’d want out of life.

Image via Ken Wolter/Shutterstock.


Contact the author at WilyUbertrout@gmail.com.