Good news, everyone! Ronald McDonald is about to join Twitter, and Kitchenette has an exclusive first look at some of the tweets he'll be sending out.

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McDonald's announced on Wednesday that their recently be-hipstered clown mascot will soon be joining Twitter — not under his own name, but under their general Twitter account using the hashtag #RonaldMcDonald (if there's one thing McDonald's is known for, it's their creative verbiage). Kitchenette has secured an exclusive look at some of the tweets Ronald McDonald will be sending out in the coming weeks and months*, and today, we bring them to you, dear reader. Enjoy.

*These are not real. I made them all up using the excellent LetMeTweetThatForYou. The McRib is a fine product and an American tradition. Please don't sue me, McDonald's.