Because You've Been Good, Here Are Some Pretzel Dicks

Hey, look at these pretzel dicks.

This is actually the latest creation from Chef de Insanitie Dominique Ansel, and it's a soft pretzel filled with homemade peanut butter and buttercrunch brittle, sprinkled with Maldon sea salt and served with a side of whipped honey brown butter. Look, I'm not going to pretend I wouldn't eat that — everything in that sentence sounds unbelievably freaking delicious. But a dick is a dick, and right now I'm looking at a dick.

Ansel is claiming that it's a "lobster tail," but come on. We can all see that it's a dick, right? Here was Ansel's e-mail response to when The Daily Beast asked him "...but it's a dick?":

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"Wow—what do people think when they see a hot dog? By no means would we ever do anything vulgar or offensive."

You're adorable, Chef Ansel.