Gay Food Worker Gets Fist Bump From President Obama

Daniel Rugg Webb was probably just swept up in the moment when the President came to his register to pay for a giant takeout order for himself and his staff at the Franklin Barbecue in Austin, Texas.

That's the most likely explanation, anyway, for why Webb decided to slap the counter and shout "Equal rights for gay people!" The President, displaying the cool that he's so well-known (and well-photographed) for, didn't even bat an eye, asking Webb, "Oh, are you gay?"

Here's where it gets really awesome: Webb answered, "only when I have sex." Far from getting flustered, President Obama laughed and said "bump me," re-creating his celebrated Terrorist Fist Jab from years past.

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Regardless of what anyone thinks of President Obama, that exchange is why he's unquestionably our coolest President. Can you name any commander-in-chief other than MAYBE Clinton who nails that moment? Imagine it happening to, say, Nixon. Seriously, imagine that, it's fucking hilarious — I think his brain would've short-circuited and the aliens controlling his robot body would have had to come down to do emergency maintenance work.*

It's easy for me to sympathize with Webb, because one time at the pizza place where I was working back home, I had the register for Vice President Joe Biden.** Granted, it's a little different in DC, where seeing a politician walking around is treated with the same "oh, yeah, look at that" vague disinterest that Angelenos treat celebrities and New Yorkers treat disgraced boner-toting former Congressmen. Besides, the dude REALLY looked like he just wanted to have a quiet meal with his family, and I didn't want to make a big deal of the whole thing. Even still, in retrospect, I kind of wish I'd cracked a joke instead of just playing it professionally, because then I could've crossed "high-five Joe Biden" off my bucket list.

Ah, well. One can but dream.

* We could have a lively discussion about which President would be funniest to watch in this moment (and please do, in the comments), but I'm hard-pressed to think anyone would top Nixon (*rim shot*).

** My impression: quiet, which is the first time in history anyone has ever used that word to describe Joe Biden. Go figure.